God

I have had a very up and down relationship with God. It seems generally speaking when there are times of stress, God is called upon or part of my daily life and when things are going great- not so much. About two months ago, I bought a book by Norman Vincent Peale- "The Power of Positive Thinking". I had read this book in my twenties but got little of value out of it but saw it on sales are B&N and had to read it again. I highly recommend this book to everyone. It was written in the late 50's, but is relevant no matter what year.

So, me and God. I was raised a Catholic-cradle Catholic I believe is the term. Church was a part of my life from the git go. My mother's parents were devout Catholics. They went to church every Sunday, would have the priest over for Sunday dinner and had all the trappings of a home filled with faith. My grandfather read the bible daily. His bible became so worn and torn from the readings it looked awesome. I dare not venture how many times he read the bible but he probably had memorized and could recite quite a bit verbatim. My grandmother was involved in the church choir and can remember hearing her voice above all others when the choir would sing. I guess she wanted to make sure God heard her. He did. Their house had the painting of the Last Supper in the dining room. Palms from Palm Sunday were on the mantle. Crosses hung from the wall. It definitely was a Christian home.

I was an altar boy. When I started we had to memorize our prayers in Latin. Latin was still used in the Mass. I'd have to get up early and get to church to prepare for the service. I really enjoyed it. I remember which priest used lots of wine with little water and vice versa. I remember tasting that wine during a weak moment of curiosity when the priest wasn't there in the sacristy. It was sort of a fraternity with my fellow altar boys. For the big services, Christmas or Easter you could have ten plus alter boys involved.

A little side note. I remember going to church with my mother when she'd be running a little late. Her hair was always perfect. But, sometimes she'd forgo putting on a dress and just wear her full slip. Yes, she'd have her coat on buttoned to the top. I was always amused by this.

I continued going to church weekly till I was a sophomore in college. Can't tell you why I stopped but I did. Being in your twenties and away at school, I believe rejecting or changing to feel more independent may have been part of the reason. Being plain lazy could have as well.

At this point I lost my religion.

Marriage. What are you going to do? I found my religion.

Children. What are you going to do? I found my religion.

Once I had a family, religion did become part of my life again. My oldest boy attended seven years of Catholic grade school that he loved. My youngest spent two years there until they wanted to hold him back due to his rambunctious behavior. All learning disabilities at this school were behavioral. Bunch of bunk. Story for another day.

Once my boys left their Catholic school, we sort of let slip the weekly attendance of Mass. It wasn't convenient I guess or important. This I regret to this day. Based on my upbringing, I believe a strong foundation of faith will stay with you regardless of whether you practice your faith actively or not. Since this point, my boys have not felt a need to practice their faith. My fault. My youngest had mentioned on occasion about going to church but I didn't seize the moment and say "Yeah".

Fast forward to today. I have started to go back to church. I really enjoy it. I still know my lines and it feels comfortable. I can't go every week because of my work schedule but do when I can. The woman I am seeing goes with me and that makes me feel great. She is a Methodist but is willing to go with me to a Catholic church. I feel special that she does this for me. She is a member of another church so, going with me says a lot about her.

Reading the book aforementioned, it makes me think about God a lot. How I really do need Him in my life. The world is a lot crazier place than when I grew up so I need all the support I can get. There is no one greater than God. I now pray daily just through spoken thought and ask for what is best for me and my family. It is very difficult being positive all the time and I struggle with it often. The path of least resistance is always negative.

So, I could argue God's existence but why? I know that as I look around me that there is a Divine Being responsible for it all. Life-how great is this miracle? Watching my sons being born was a religious experience. Call me simple but my belief in God has no down side. Following the Ten Commandments certainly won't make my life miserable.in fact, following His teachings may enable me to make others happier!

I'm not a God on sleeve type of person. I just want to try to live a good life. I want God by my side. I have had Him beside me all the time, I have just been selective in when I want Him. I don't want to anymore. May God bless you.
Keith